Financial Crisis Jokes

SmileThe book, Go Lean…Caribbean, serves as a roadmap for the implementation of the Caribbean Union Trade Federation (CU). This is a very sober and serious quest.

But it should be fun too!

This is embedded in the tagline for the CU: to make the Caribbean a better place to live, work and play.

In this vein, we present these Financial Crisis Jokes:

Q: How do you define optimism?

A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

Q: What’s the difference between a banker and a large pizza?

A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.

As a surprise, a chief exec’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating: ‘. . . and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.’

Q: Why have real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?

A: Because otherwise they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Q: What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?

A: The pigeon is still capable of putting down a deposit on a new Ferrari.

The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car’s been repossessed.

Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can’t sell anything?

A: Quarter-pounder with fries, please.

Overheard in a NYC bar: ‘This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.’

The bank returned a check to me this morning, stamped: ‘insufficient funds.’ Is it them or me?

A director decided to award a prize of $100 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $50.

Q: What’s the capital of Iceland?

A: About $3.50.

A man went to his bank manager and said: ‘I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?’ ‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Buy a big one and wait.’

Money talks. Trouble is, mine knows only one word: ‘Goodbye.’

A young man asked an elderly rich man how he made his money. ‘Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last penny, so I invested that penny in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold that apple for ten pennies. ‘The next morning I bought two apples, spent the day polishing them and sold them for 20 pennies. I continued this for a month, by which time I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37. ‘Then my wife’s father died and left us $2 million.’

Q: What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common?

A: They both have frozen assets.

A reporter asked President Bush about his thoughts on the credit crunch. “Credit Crunch is ok”, he retorted, “but I really like Coco Puffs”.

If you don’t eat out as often as you used to it’s a recession. If you find yourself eating out more often, only it’s out of dumpsters, it’s a depression.

 Now Back to Work!!

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  • Robb Sawyer says:

    Thank you for sharing…
    Here are 10 of some of my favorite jokes:

    1. Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
    2. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
    3. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
    4. Who was the world’s first stock broker? Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.
    5. Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
    6. What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
    7. If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
    8. Money isn’t everything…But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
    9. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    10. Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it!

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